Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Selfish or Selfless?

Lehmann Laughter

Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 28 weeks. Week 1 and Week 2 posts here.
As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)
You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

Personal Happiness

I (like to) think that most people put others in front of themselves. I’m believe that people are generally kind-hearted and good-natured. I think part of it (for me personally) is genetics, if you’ve met my immediate family we’re all a little loony and over the top in our happiness and then there’s also the way I was raised.

I’m a Christian.

And while I don’t talk a lot about faith in my blog, it’s always there guiding me in how I act towards the world. One of the things that really stuck with me since I was a 5 year old walking to church 7 blocks away on my own because I didn’t want to miss it, was the kindness and selflessness I found in the church. That was something I wanted to reciprocate and put into the world. I equated that with love (and still do mostly) and so, I often have found myself stepping back in order for someone else’s happiness to move forward.

To be honest, I like the way it makes me feel. I like to make people happy just like I enjoy making people laugh – it’s just who I am. But that can also put my own happiness on the back burner – for the most part, it’s small things that make no real difference. I’m laid-back and grudges aren’t my thing, so it’s easy stuff to gloss over.

Me: I really want to eat chicken tonight.
Other Person: Hey, let’s go eat steak instead.
Me: Sure, that sounds good too.

But then there are other times – like training for a marathon where I really struggled with the time I was committing to myself. Because the time I was committing to that (which was more than I really anticipated) was taking away from my family – particularly my daughter. I’m proud that she knows ‘my faster shoes’ and that I’m leading by example (something I didn’t have growing up) but it still is unsettling to me knowing some of her happiness turned into sadness. Especially when I had to tell her I couldn’t take her here or there because of running commitments/injuries etc.

It was certainly a strain on our family near the end as my mileage increased. But running makes me happy, so they were supportive. Running really helped me find myself when I was struggling and it ultimately made me much more pleasant to be around.

Pursuing my own happiness in this jungle of emotions I share for other people is certainly something I struggle with. I’m also a people-pleaser, so I have a hard time telling people ‘no’ when they ask for help even if it’s something that will over exhaust myself or my family. I’ve gotten better over the years but that yearning to pull back and push others forward is something I think I’ll have conflicting emotions with for the rest of my life.

Okay, it’s your turn! Link-up below and share your stories or comment on my post with them (if you don’t have a blog).

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Silly Doctors

So, y’all remember last week when I fractured my foot? IMG_3632

Wait. Let me phrase that in a better way.

So, y’all remember last week when the doctors thought I fractured my foot?

Yeah, go ahead and grab that subtle foreshadowing for what I’m about to say and chew on it for a minute.


I went for my follow-up appointment with my orthopedic doctor on Wednesday and his exact words, “Well, it’s not fractured because you are special.”

I could have jumped for joy (if I weren’t dragging around a 20 lb freaking boot on my left foot); I even had mentioned to Amanda over email right before the appointment about my high hopes. I guess they weren’t too high though, were they?

Easter Miracle

It wasn’t word for word – but basically, that’s how it went down. Silly doctors.

Turns out when the ortho doc said I was special he meant that I actually have a navicular ossicle that made it look like I had fractured my foot when in reality it was just a really horrible sprain in a really crappy place.

A navicular ossicle is basically an extra bone in my foot that is only prevalent in about 2-12% of people. Usually no symptoms and most people aren’t even aware you can have one. Because it’s not all that common the other two doctors I visited weren’t really sure what they were looking at and just assumed the worst and threw me in crutches and a boot.


I’m now convinced this is the source of all my awesomeness. I have no shame in that.
Also, that is not my x-ray. Yay for Google Images!

To be honest, I probably really did need both of those things at least the first three days. And it’s actually still sore but I’m sitting her typing in my regular tennis shoes and that is golden. I am beyond thrilled. Alfred is having a grand old time telling me that he knew I was faking the entire time and I’m having a great time not walking with crutches.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for the good thoughts & prayers – they clearly helped!

Have a great Easter weekend everyone, I know I will!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Honestly, though.

Lehmann Laughter

Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 28 weeks. Week 1 and Week 2 posts here.

As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)

You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

Lets Be Honest - Week 3

You know, being honest can actually be pretty hard. It’s easy to add on a little fib here or there in the dramatic story you just happen to be sharing. I think blogging really does amplify that. We want what we share to be the funniest, most awesome, most tear-jerking thing you read, so we add some flare. Overall, a little flare doesn’t bother me – as long as it’s easy to distinguish that from a bold-faced lie.

Flare: Girl yes, I swear I was on the phone with the damn electric company for 2 hours! Okay, fine, it was only 20 minutes but you know what I mean. Like they’ve never had someone pay a bill late before.

Bold-faced Lie: The electric company shut me off for no damn reason at all and everything in my icebox is bad. It’s going to cost me hundreds of dollars. I can’t believe this is happening to me!

I think though, it’s even harder to be honest with yourself. It’s easy to look at the lies/fibs you see social media, your friends & family, etc portray and think those apply to me without really looking within yourself to see why you think that.

Before I really made an effort to get healthy (by running mostly and eating slightly better) after I had Lillie, I remember reading all these glorious articles about how breastfeeding just drops the pounds after you have a child.

Hey, let’s attach a small child to your boob and BAM! you’re instantly 3 sizes smaller! Best weight loss program, EVAH.

I was convinced that this was my truth and when it turned out it wasn’t (which is actually pretty common despite the articles out there you come across) I was devastated. You mean, I have to actually put forth effort in eating right & exercise? BOLOGNA.

MMM. Bologna.

I cried about my lack of weight loss outwardly but inwardly I knew that I was failing me because I was lying to myself about my true effort in getting healthy. Once I became honest with myself about my own shortcomings, I began to enjoy my new adventure into running. I began to enjoy my new life. I was proud of what and who I was becoming. And that all started with me being honest with myself.

It’s really hard to look at your life to see where improvements can be made to only realize the reason those improvements haven’t been met sooner is because of you. But the sooner you do it, the easier the rest of your life gets. Sometimes honesty hurts but in the long haul, (for me at least) it seems to be worth it. So, I try my best to deal with the truth even when I don’t want to. And I try to do it with a smile on face and warmth in my heart.

Thich Nhat Hanh Quote Typed on Typewriter by farmnflea on Etsy, $9.00

If you’d like to link up, post your blog below so we can check it out! See you next week!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Lillie Lately v.4

 Lillie Lately

Click below if you’re interested in other Lillie-isms.
Lillie Lately v.1
Lillie Lately v.2
Lillie Lately v.3

Alfred, Lillie and myself were on a short road trip (about an hour long) and we passed a small swim park. You could see the top of the slides above the fence and it was pirate-themed. Lillie likes Jake & The Neverland Pirates (and most recently has called her father Captain Hook with his eye situation) so I pointed it out to her.


I swear, we’re good parents.
Also, Alfred says she’s wearing mom shorts.

Me: Look Lillie! Do you see the water slides and pirates?
Lillie: YES!
Me: Would you like to visit there sometime?
Lillie: YAYYY! We can go right now?
Me: No, we can’t go right now. It’s a little chilly out. We will have to wait for summer time.
Lillie: <looking slightly disappointed> Okay.

5 minutes later, we hear her tapping on the window and pointing to the sun that had just come out from behind the clouds.

Lillie: Mama, it IS summer day. There’s the sun. It IS summer out! We can go!!

Me: (turning to Alfred) I’m not going to win this, am I?
Alfred: You do it to yourself. Every time.

We decided that we wanted to plant a small garden, mostly tomatoes and peppers. We bought strawberries for Lillie and put them in her own plant container to take care of. We worked on it over the weekend and she was really excited about it. We had just finished planting everything (including her strawberries) and took a popsicle break. About 20 minutes later, she runs as hard as she can to the plant container, peers in enthusiastically, sighs incredibly loud and walks back to me looking defeated.

Lillie: Mama, they not growing yet.
Me: Sorry babe. It’s going to take a little while for them to grow.
Lillie: Aww, you’re killing me!

Lillie and I have about a 20 commute every day back and forth from daycare to home. Most of the time she fills me in on who her current best friend is or if she’s had a particularly uneventful day, she won’t say anything – she’ll just stare out the window until we pull into our garage.

I thought she was having a quiet day. She hadn’t said anything for about 10 minutes. But then…

Lillie: Mama! It’s a choo-choo train!
Me: [startled because it had been so quiet, and she was so loud] Yes. That’s a train.

We were driving south, the train was going north.

Lillie: Where is it going?
Me: I’m not sure. To a train depot?
Lillie: WE ARE DRIVING TOWARDS ITS BOOTY! {insert insane giggles}
Me: [laughing] Yeah, it’s actually called a caboose.


Just because.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Stairs are Stupid. So are fractures.


You know how I run stairs weekly with Moj? Typically, it’s 40-60 minutes of heart-pumping, sweat dropping, why the hell do I do this myself workouts and not once have I ever tripped. We run up the stairs, we go up two at a time, we go up sideways, we lunge, basically, we kill the workout. Based on this, one may assume I’m fairly good at going up & down stairs.

But this assumption is wrong. It is so terribly wrong.

Because while I may kill a stair workout, I also try to kill myself when leisurely walking down a staircase on my lunch break. Somehow on Tuesday, I missed a step and landed wrong on my left foot. I immediately fell to the ground and then popped right back up. Had I been alone, I probably would have sat there for a moment but because I was walking down stairs located directly in front of an eating establishment on campus – I was not alone. I was surrounded by 30 students who witnessed my drop from heaven.

And that was slightly embarrassing.

I did not make eye contact, I did not pass go and I did not collect $200. I did; however, quickly grab my stuff that fell from purse and thank the few students who helped me and hobbled straight to the gym to workout.

Yeah. I’m the moron who fractures her foot, ignores the pulsing pain, and cycles for 30 minutes thinking I’ll just work through it.

Technically, I did, I worked through it and made it back to my office. I immediately took off my shoe, thought I noticed some swelling and then sat down and ate lunch. It was painful but nothing over the top, so I stood up to get some ice on it. And then I immediately fell back down in my chair. I attempted to put my shoe back on – yeah, not happening – and told my co-worker I was going to the doctor.

I managed to make it outside of my office by about 10 feet before my boss (and dear friend) caught me hobbling inch by inch in tears to my truck. We side-armed another co-worker into pushing me through the building in my office chair, while another went and brought my truck around to the front. Luckily, it was my left foot and it did not impede my ability to drive or to curse.

Oh, the cursing.

Once I made it through X-rays, my doctor came in to confirm what I already felt like I knew – something was seriously screwed up in my foot. My navicular bone has a small fracture in it.

It’s only been a couple days but I’m definitely over it – frustration doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings about this. But you know, I can always count on Lillie to pull me from the dumps.

Walking in with my shoe & crutches, Lillie runs to me.

Lillie: MAMA! What is on your foot?
Me: It’s a special shoe I have to wear because I got hurt today.
Lillie: You go to doctor?
Me: Yeah, the doctor is the one that gave it to me.
Lillie: Why?
Me: Because I wasn’t watching where I was going and I fell down the stairs. That’s why I tell you to be careful and look where you’re going, otherwise you’ll be going to the doctor too.
Lillie: Oh. Well, I go to your work tomorrow and I hold your hand and we BE CAREFUL. You’ll not fall.

God bless children. Even when they don’t get it, they still get it.

It could have been a lot worse but for now, I’m stuck wearing a very fancy shoe and sporting some oh-so-styling crutches. I have a follow-up appointment with an orthopedic doctor next week to see what this actually means. And by means, I mean like when can I start running/being active again.

If you have any spare good thoughts/karma/prayers for a speedy recovery, I’m accepting all donations.

Sympathy Photo

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Problem, Uh, What Problem?

Lehmann Laughter

Welcome to 30 Topics; 30 Weeks! This link-up is scheduled for every Wednesday over the next 30 29 weeks. You can find Week 1 posts here.

As a quick run down, it’s based on these two articles – here and here. You are free to take the topics in any direction you like – I am only providing a guideline to get the ball rolling. Hell, I may not even follow what I wrote. But as long as it relatable, I’d love for you to link up! No pressure, I promise. :)

You can find more information on each of the weekly topics by clicking here or downloading the PDF by going here.

Let’s get started!

Handling Problems

I do not like conflict. At all. If I just happen to get into an argument, odds are I’m going to say something quick and feisty, then cross my arms over my chest while I stare at you with hate-filled eyes. Nothing else will be said because I’ll be busy (literally) biting my tongue so I don’t say something hateful that I’ll regret later.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, you never forget those hateful things someone says to you in the heat of the moment. And I never want to give someone one of those moments. (Full disclosure, I probably have but I make an honest effort not too).

In my personal life, I’m more prone to run. I’ll avoid the situation for as long as I can handle because I don’t want any feelings to be hurt. This usually backfires and every few months I get really down on myself and lash out at people for what appears to be no reason. I’ve made huge strides from where I used to be. Especially within my marriage. I was so afraid of being wrong, or hurting someone, I would just say nothing and hold on to those feelings of resentment. But as I’ve grown and gained trust in my true friendships, I’ve really tried to make it a point to talk to Alfred (or anyone I’m close with) about things that bother me. It sucks in the moment, but I’ve found if I keep a cool, logical head – they usually do too and after a couple days, things just go right back to where they need to be. Dr.Seuss

In my professional life, I hit things head on. I’ve been working full-time in a professional atmosphere for nearly 9 years and I’ve made it a point to learn from my older peers. I’ve listened to advice, I’ve witnessed when interactions go wrong and I’ve found that most of the time it’s when someone avoids some kind of issue. If you can jump in and fix the problem when it first appears, odds are you all are going to be happier. Also, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it doesn’t make me feel good about myself to get things fixed before my boss can even reply to the issue.

So, I guess I’m 50/50 on it. And I guess like anything, it really depends on what the problem is. If it’s an ever-growing pile of laundry but I can still squeeze out one more wear of my jeans before starting a load – I’m going too. But if it’s something that is emotionally draining and affecting all aspects of my life, particularly being a mother, I’d rather tackle it and be done.

Monday, April 7, 2014

31 Years

I thought about writing a really sappy love letter to my husband on his birthday but after bragging about him a bit last week, I don’t want him to start thinking he means that much to me. I mean, we haven’t been together for 13 years because we simply love each other. That’s crap you only see on movies.

There’s so much more that makes me grateful for him – his ability to remember every damn argument we’ve ever had, his naturally long eyelashes that he masterfully bats at me to get his way, the fact that even when I’m fuming mad he can make me laugh so hard I cry which in turn makes me even more mad, his inability to find any pair of socks – ever, and the list goes on and on. But I’ll just leave it with some of my favorite photos over the years.

HS Homecoming


Wedding Day Blues

mullets in the wind

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Zoo Fun

Trick or Treat 2012



Happy Birthday Alfred.

Here’s to hoping that next year on your birthday Lillie wakes you up with a pleasant, soft “Happy Birthday” instead of a loud and overbearing, “BOO!”